​Let's go back to last Saturday night....

I'm in bed. It's before 10:00pm. Me being in bed before 10:00pm on any night is unheard of!!

I'm tired. I've been feeling low capacity all week. Dealing with more boundary issues with one of my classes. Feeling a lot of anger over the last few weeks.

I participated in a Family Constellations event on Saturday afternoon and there was a lot of big energy.

Before we delved into the constellations, there was a shamanic drumming session, which was AMAZING! My body remembered the Kundalini Dance Journeys I'd been on. Even though we were seated, I was moving my body, breathing through my central channel and sticking my tongue out as I breathed out, "hhhaaa".

It was a message to return to intuitive movement.

I thought: I need to dance like this more often.

Later, in the evening, I'd fallen asleep on the couch while rewatching True Blood, which has just come onto Amazon Prime.

So I decided to adult: had a shower, scrubbed my face with my favourite face scrub, put on a face mask and then settled on my bed for some journalling, as I hadn't done any journalling for ages.

I decided to put on my Wild & Wise Intuitive Dance playlist as I was journalling. At one point, I felt called to get up and move my body, feel my body, dance and breathe.

And then one song got its hook into me:
"Motherland" by The Human Experience.

I played it three times.

And something interesting happened.

The first time

I was just feeling into my body.
Breathing.
Moving my body, arms, torso, hips.
Feeling the sensations of moving my arms, my torso, my head.
Feeling how my body felt as I moved and swayed.
I tend to keep my feet planted. Grounded.
I was simply feeling.

The second time

I was crying.
A lot.
Releasing.
I was caressing my face, my arms, my belly, my legs, my pelvic mound.
I needed to cradle myself.
I allowed myself to feel.
I allowed myself to release.
I allowed myself to free myself.

The third time

I felt strong.
Powerful.
In my body and in my Self.
I am a warrior woman.

Three times.

Same song.

But not the same experience.

Isn't that so mundane? I played a song three times. And danced to it. Felt it. Went on a journey with it.

And that got me thinking about how often I want to know the answer and jump back into my head before I've actually experienced the journey.

I want to figure things out.
I want to understand.
I want to know how to get from here to there.

And yet, when I stopped trying to figure it out and simply allowed myself to feel and move and breathe, something happened.

I went deeper.

And then I started journalling about what had just happened, and found myself having a conversation.

Just for a bit of context: If you haven't read the Conversations with God series of books, the author creates them by writing questions on a yellow legal pad and discovers that he gets responses to those questions. I do that too...but without the yellow legal pad, because, well, boring.

Anyway.

Below is what I journalled verbatim having danced. It then moves into the question and answer process.

The bold text is me. The italic text quotes are the responses I receive back from God, my Higher Self, Source, whatever you want to call it.

Ready?

Listening to intuitive dance playlist. Felt pulled by Motherland; that's why I wanted to repeat it. Go deeper each time. Experience the journey.

The crying: at its peak: it was about surrendering my problems to the divine Shiva. I surrender to you Shiva, Father Sky, Divine Source. Help me trust. Help me believe. Trust and believe in love, money, abundance, freedom.

I dance with my body. I don't really move my feet. I caress my face, my arms, my breasts, my tummy, my legs, my pelvic mound. I allow myself to feel. I allow myself to release. I allow myself to free myself.

(And then, of course, my mind came back in.)

I feel my third eye is blocked. I can't see how to get out of my financial situation. I can't figure out what's blocking me from money, love and abundance. I don't want to be in struggle and stress any more. What am I missing?

(To be honest, I was initially a little stumped with this question. And then I realised my response was flavoured with a bit of a victim attitude: "Aren't you meant to be helping me?")

To get help from you in this journalling process.

I want to SEE my way out.

I wish to believe:

I am worthy of money and of love.
I am financially capable and successful.
I am free to be me.
I love a clean, organised, relaxing home space.
I am attractive and desirable. I desire to be hunted.
Money comes to me with ease and integrity.
I am strong, fit, powerful.
I am loved.
I am love.

(PS: I've edited out some beliefs because verbosity is a strong suit!)

Thank you.

What would happen if you stopped trying to figure things out in your mind, and let yourself feel your way instead? I'd love to know!

With love,
Olga 

Meet Judge Olga

I've realised that I can be quite judgemental. And I'm not just talking about judging other people. Although... let's start there.

Last month, I did Gabby Bernstein's Lion's Gate Manifesting Ritual. It was themed around rebirth and power, and part of the process was looking back at where I hadn't been the person I wanted to be, acknowledging it, releasing what was and choosing who I want to be now.

During the ritual, I had a nudge to pick up Gabby's book The Universe Has Your Back and open it randomly.

I landed on Chapter 9: Oneness Sets You Free, a chapter about judgement.

If you'd like to play along, you can read the chapter yourself. And if you're interested in the ritual, I'll link to the Lion's Gate meditation below.

One of the first things Gabby invites us to do is simply witness our judgement without judging ourselves for being judgemental.

So I did. And I gave myself a score.

9/10.

Judge Olga is a high achiever. Or not.

I was thinking about the people living in the accommodation house next door to my unit block.
There are arguments, domestic disputes, rubbish dumped in our driveway, people bringing their kids to play on our driveway and kicking balls into our garage doors at 7:30pm at night, their cars parked in our driveway...

And I have been judging them. A lot.

So instead of trying to tell myself to just let it go, I asked another question:

How does being judgemental make me feel?

Journalling on it, I wrote:

I feel angry, frustrated.
I want to control and make people wrong.
I want to force others to change.
Urgh. Yuk.
I feel on edge. Defensive.
Blocking energy.
Ready to fight and block other attacks.
I feel tense, agitated, unsafe.
 
And then I had a realisation.

If I'm walking around feeling tense, defensive, agitated and ready to fight, while simultaneously trying to block what I don't want coming into my life...

What else am I blocking?

I suddenly thought about money.

I've been wondering why it seems so easy for other people to manifest money and abundance, while I struggle with it.

I've often thought, I've got money blocks. But I hadn't been clear about what those blocks actually were energetically.

Then I thought:

No wonder I am blocking flow, money and love coming in.

Well…

Fuck!
 
If I'm blocking the negativity, perhaps I'm also blocking my ability to receive.

It was like my energy field was sturdy armour, shielding me from EVERYTHING.

A big energetic: KEEP OUT.

But…. it doesn't only keep out the things I don't want.

Maybe it also makes it harder to receive the things I do want.

Money.
Love.
Opportunities.
Support.
Abundance.

And that led me to another question:

What does it feel like for me to receive?

Does an overflow of money actually feel safe to me?

Or do I feel like I need to squirrel it away, protect it, make sure I don't use it unwisely or unintentionally?

I was doing a financial detox last month, so I'd already been watching my relationship with money more closely. If I wanted to buy something, I’d put it on a list for the first of the following month, so I could ask myself then: Do I still want this?

So this whole idea of receiving, and my capacity to hold more, is something I'm curious about exploring. And, spoiler alert, I don’t have the answer.
 

How do I witness my judgement?

I started noticing another Judge Olga.

The one who lives inside my own head.

Judge Olga says:

Will you hurry up and just take some fucking action?
Just do SOMETHING.
Anything.
Stop sitting around waiting for clarity, motivation, permission, approval.
Just do the fucking thing.
Stop doubting.
Stop overthinking.
Stop procrastinating.
Stop avoiding.

She's pretty fucking scolding and critical, actually.

Because another part of me is saying:

We're not making enough money.
We need to be smarter with our energy, time and resources.
We need to create more income.

But I'm also afraid.

Afraid of making mistakes again.
Afraid of failing.
Afraid of things not working out.
Afraid of ending up in a worse position than if I didn't do anything.
 
And suddenly... my behaviour pattern becomes clearer. I see my loop.

I judge myself for not taking action.

But I'm not taking action because I'm trying to protect myself from getting hurt.

From failing.
From being rejected.
From making the wrong decision.
From ending up somewhere worse.

So I judge myself for the very behaviour that I'm using to protect myself.

And then I get stuck.


What is judgement protecting me from?

This might actually be the biggest question for me right now.

Because I think judgement is one of the ways I protect myself.

• If I judge first, perhaps I don't have to be hurt first.
• If I make someone else wrong, perhaps I get to be right.
• If I keep my guard up, perhaps I won't be abandoned.
• If I stay in control, perhaps I won't be rejected.
• If I don't take the action, perhaps I can't fail.
• If I don't make myself visible, perhaps nobody can judge me.

And there it is.

Judgement is my cage.

My self-imposed cage.

And perhaps this is part of what Wild & Wise is actually about for me.

Freeing myself from the cage.

Not because I've figured it all out. Quite the opposite. But I'm starting to see (and feel) the bars.
 

How can I forgive the judgemental thoughts?

One of the things I appreciated about Gabby's process was that it wasn't about beating myself up for being judgemental.

It was about noticing the judgement. And then forgiving the thought.

Which sounds simple. It’s not.

Because if I'm judgemental about being judgemental, I'm still judging.

So perhaps the invitation is: Can I accept that this is where I am?

• Can I accept that I have chosen fear?
• Can I accept that I've been protecting myself?
• Can I forgive myself for the judgement?

And then choose again.
 
I've already had an opportunity to practise this with someone I love.

I was having a conversation with a close friend and realised I was being Miss Toxic Positivity.

My friend was sharing what she was experiencing, and instead of really holding space for her, I was jumping in with:

"But you need to reframe it as..."
"You should look at it this way..."
"Try to think more positively..."

I wasn't actually allowing her to feel what she was feeling.

I was making her experience wrong.

And it hit me: I don't want to be that person for her.

So I sent her a voice note, basically apologising and saying I wasn't holding space for where she was in that moment. I had been dismissing her experience from a place of toxic positivity. I was telling her she shouldn't think like that and trying to coach her into being more positive. And that is NOT honouring where she's at.
 
She thanked me for the voice note.

And I noticed something else.

I wanted her approval.
I wanted to know that everything was okay.
I wanted to know that she forgave me.

And when she thanked me, I felt validated.

Which was another little moment of awareness.

Even doing the "right" thing can become another way of seeking approval. Apparently Judge Olga has many departments.
 

How can I see people and situations without the story I’ve created about them?

Gabby's third step is about seeing the person for the first time.

I always thought oneness was about all of us being connected energetically - each of us being part of the whole.

But what if seeing someone for the first time also means letting go of the story I've already created about them?

• Seeing my friend without needing her to be more positive.
• Seeing myself without needing to be more successful, more decisive, more productive.
• Seeing the people next door without the entire history of irritation sitting between us.
• Seeing myself in this moment.

Not who I was. Not who I think I should be. Not who I think I need to become before I'm worthy of love, money, success or belonging.

Just... me.

Right here. Right now. Still becoming.
 

Creating safety instead of building a bigger cage

And this is where I've realised that judgement and safety are connected for me.

I still get irritated when I hear loud voices next door. I still brace.

My living room and balcony look directly into one of their rooms and balcony, so I've put plants up as screens. I also put a piece of fabric over the glass sliding door. Literally, it’s just a piece of colourful fabric I bought in Morocco.

Interestingly, I noticed how much safer I felt with that little barrier there.

I couldn't be seen so easily. I had more privacy. I felt my body relax.

And instead of telling myself I shouldn't feel unsafe, I thought:

What if I can create safety for myself without living in a guarded state constantly?

So my next step is actually to get proper curtains installed.

Not because I'm supposed to rise above my irritation and be all "Kumbaya, My Lord".

But because I get to choose who comes into my personal space.

I get to create a home where I feel safe.

And I think that's part of the work too. Not forcing myself to feel differently. But creating enough safety that I don't have to stay braced all the time.
 
The cage

I'm beginning to wonder if this is what the Wild & Wise journey is really about for me.

I'm starting to see where I've been caging myself...

• The judgement.
• The control.
• The overthinking.
• The waiting for clarity.
• The waiting for permission.
• The fear of getting it wrong.
• The need to be right.
• The need to fix other people's experiences.
• The need to protect myself from rejection, abandonment and hurt.
• The need to keep myself safe.

And perhaps the question isn't: How do I stop judging?

Maybe it's: What is my judgement protecting me from?

And once I can see that...

• Can I create safety there?
• Can I forgive myself?
• Can I put down the shield?
• Can I stop making myself (or someone else) wrong?
• Can I choose again?

Because maybe the work isn't about becoming more loving, more abundant, more powerful or more magnetic.

Maybe some of the work is simply removing the things that are getting in the way of experiencing what is already available to me. Maybe it's about expanding my capacity to receive.

And maybe freedom isn't something I have to chase after. Maybe it's about noticing the bars of the cage I've built around myself. And then, slowly, choosing to release them.
 

Want to explore this for yourself?

If this has made you wonder about your own judgement, you might like to try the exercise that started this little rabbit hole for me:

What am I judging?

How does my judgement make me feel?

And then the question I'm adding for myself:

What is my judgement protecting me from?

You might even write yourself a letter of amends. Not because you've done something terrible.

But because perhaps there are parts of you you've been judging, criticising or trying to force into becoming someone else.

You could write:

I'm sorry.
I forgive you.
I see what you were trying to protect me from.
I choose again.

If you'd like to explore where this came from, I've linked Gabby Bernstein's Lion's Gate Manifesting Ritual here, and The Universe Has Your Back, particularly Chapter 9, Oneness Sets You Free, here.

I'm sharing these as references rather than teachings, because this Letter isn't really about Gabby or the ritual.

It's about what I discovered when I did the work.

And what I'm still discovering... here, inside the cocoon.

With love,
Olga 💗

I wanted to really connect with you and other women. To have an impact. To create a container and hold the space for women to feel safe enough to go deeper and really connect with themselves, their truth, their wisdom, their aliveness.

And I think I finally have some words for what that is.

ALIVENESS.

Aliveness is about fully being here. Fully connected to yourself. Fully awake to your own life. It's feeling the energy, the desire, the joy and the possibility of being YOU, not the version you've been conditioned to be, but the woman underneath it all.

​And when we stop abandoning ourselves and stop suppressing our life force, it wants to be expressed. Expressed in what we choose, what we say yes and no to, what we desire, how we show up and how we live.

That's what I'm here for... to reclaim my aliveness and to support and empower women to reconnect with their aliveness.
​
Here's what I believe.

We're here to LIVE, not simply EXIST.

We're not machines. We're human BEINGS.

And yet so much of our lives can become about DOING. Obligations. Conditioning. Limiting beliefs. Patterns of behaviour that worked for us at some point and now… don't. And probably haven't for quite some time.

But we keep going. We stay on the hamster wheel of busyness.

We don't slow down.
We don't pause.
We don't breathe.
We don't feel into our bodies.

We don't stop long enough to ask ourselves:

• Who am I?
• What am I here for?
• How do I desire to show up in the world?
• Who is my future self calling me to become?

For me, this deeper Wild & Wise journey is about coming home to ourselves. It's about reclaiming our aliveness. It's about remembering that we're allowed to be fully ourselves.

And it's about giving ourselves PERMISSION to be who we really are — underneath all the conditioning, expectations, patterns and stories.

Not waiting for permission from something external.

Giving ourselves permission.

To be.
To feel.
To want.
To desire.
To choose.
To be free to be ourselves.

Even when that means making choices that we might not have made before. Even when that means disappointing people. Even when we don't know exactly where the path is leading.

And here's the interesting bit…

While I've been figuring out what Wild & Wise is becoming, I've also realised that I'm becoming too.

Actually, I've been resisting this realisation! Because I've been thinking: What do I have to offer?

I've been invalidating my own journey — my learnings, my challenges, my experiences. And yet, perhaps it's what we do naturally and who we are that are the gifts.

I'm learning to acknowledge myself within this journey.

And I'm beginning to see that creating Wild & Wise isn't separate from my own journey towards becoming the Wild & Wise Woman.

Wild & Wise is the journey.

For me, it's about freeing myself from my own conditioning, patterns and limiting beliefs.

It's about being brave enough to go for what I really desire.

And perhaps my medicine is sharing that journey with you.

Not because I have it all figured out.

Quite the opposite. Because I don't.

I'm still in the cocoon.

And that's where these Letters from the Cocoon come from.

So… welcome to the cocoon.

I've decided I'm done waiting for everything to be super clear and perfect before I take action. I do not recommend!

So these aren't going to be polished blogs or perfectly packaged teachings.

They're going to be reflections. Things I'm discovering. Things that are showing up. Things I'm learning. The little breadcrumbs, nudges and learnings the universe keeps sending my way.

And perhaps, if you feel like it, you can walk beside me while it all unfolds.

Because Wild & Wise is becoming.

And so am I.

And I'd really love to hear from you.

When you hear the words "Wild & Wise", what comes to mind?

Comment below. I'd love your perspective.

Because as Wild & Wise evolves, I don't just want you to get to know me and what I'm creating.

I want to get to know you, too.
​

* or my Higher Self.

For those who follow me on social media, you probably know I went speed dating last month. And you may have already seen my Dad Joke. Here it is again, for your entertainment…

On the day of the speed dating event, I was feeling so tired. I had had a busy week with some assessments due on the same day. I also had a kinesiology appointment that afternoon, and the kinesiologist could only do a survival balance as my body kept getting stressed out. 

I was feeling very low energy after the kinesiology session – albeit very chilled – I was very much in the mood of curling up on the couch under a blanket and hibernating from the world, and I was so NOT in the mood to go speed dating. 

I ended up having a 30-minute shower to ground myself (unintentionally), thus I ran out of time for make-up so I went fresh-faced. I was going to the speed dating event with a friend so I had to show up. 

I ended up having a great night. It was a lot of fun. I enjoyed socialising and having awesome conversations with most people. I had an energising chat with one guy who is an African conga drummer; we chatted about Latin rhythms, music and dance - Salsa, Tango, Bolero, etc, which I loved (given I am a Latin Dance teacher). 

The next day however, I was feeling quite down and had a crying session. When I couldn’t get to sleep, I ended up journaling. 

In the book "Conversations with God Book 1" by Neale Donald Walsch, the author shares this question-and-answer technique he used to get the content for the series of Conversations with God books. Although I’d not done it in ages, I have used this same technique and find it a useful way to get clarity and find my truth. 

So, I started asking myself questions – writing them out in my journal – then an answer would come which I would write out as well. So, it becomes this writing dialogue in my journal. 

For example, here are two questions I asked, followed by the responses I received back.

​Question:
How do I love more of myself – more parts of myself?

Response:

Just that! Love your face, love your belly, love all the parts of your body that you don’t prefer. Love your hyperness. Love your silliness. Love your power. Love your anger. Love your quirks. Love your blocks.

Everything is perfect. You are perfect.

It’s not DO – it’s LOVING.

Just focus on the love, the expansion, the fun, the excitement.

Question:
As per Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, I feel I’m NOT solid in the second layer and my focus right now is MONEY, HEALTH and HOME. Do I surrender dating?

Response:

No, think of it as part of your social life. It’s about having fun. It’s not about the dating. 

Focus on FUN. Follow the fun, be social, connect, get hyped up and energised by the conversations you’re having. 

You’ve focused on the outcome of getting romantic interest. 

The focus is on what is fun right now – or rather the focus is on having fun right now – and rediscovering that fun, playful, cheeky and flirty part of yourself. The girly side. 

So dress up, wear makeup, feel sexy – not for the men – FOR YOU!

-- 

Through this process, I realised I was focused on the OUTCOME, like the dopamine hit of getting a like on Facebook. I was chasing the result of getting someone romantically interested in me rather than focusing on having FUN. To be honest, I just wanted attention. 

So after journalling, I released the negative meaning I’d created and instead acknowledged what a fun night I had, how much enjoyed having conversations with lovely people and how grateful I am for these opportunities to meet new people. 

On a final note, I also observed myself apologising/making excuses for my hyped energy to one of my dates, a good-looking Ben Affleck lookalike. 

My learning from this observation? To accept and own ALL of myself. 

PS I highly recommend Conversations with God Book 1. 

YOUR TURN...

• Grab your journal and a pen.
• Write out a question you’d like an answer to and see what comes through.
• Continue the "conversation" until you say goodbye (like you would with a person). 
• Perhaps you could start with: How do I accept, own and love all of myself?

NEXT...

• Join my mailing list to receive blog updates, circle tasters, weekly wisdoms and upcoming event notifications here. 
• Try a free circle taster here.
• Experience a live circle with me here.

Last Saturday, I held the space for the "Remembering Your Authentic Voice" women's circle. 

During the intuitive dance, I really got that I LOVE INTUITIVE DANCE and that I could just do the intuitive dance events. And when one of the beautiful souls mentioned afterwards that she'd never been to a circle with intutive dance, I realised, oh, that's MY THING. That's what makes me and my women's circles different.  I'd been struggling with creating a point of difference as there are a LOT of women's circles out there.

My body loves to move and in that movement process, I find myself releasing "stuff" - such as emotions, stories, limiting beliefs, masks, etc. In this space emerges clarity where I can hear the messages from my heart and my soul so much more clearly. It's a process I really benefit from and obviously love. And it was participating in Kundalini Dance Journeys that got me started on that pathway!

So I am inspired to bring the intuitive dance component to the forefront of my Wild & Wise Women's Circles. That's why moving forward, I'll be promoting my events as Wild & Wise Women: Intuitive Dance & Sacred Circle (and as always, that name is a work in progress!). 

In addition, during the women's circle on Saturday, I was recommending a lot of resources around dance, intimacy, connection events, fun and excitement - which I'd love to share with you as well!

>> RESOURCES <<

Take what works for you and ignore the rest.
​

​
Authentic Relating International (global)

This is a global organisation. Authentic relating is the practice of relating to others with vulnerability, honesty and an open heart. I've done the level 1 course online and have attended an online session. However, I've yet to attend a Brisbane meetup.

• https://www.facebook.com/brisbaneauthentics (Brisbane)
• https://authenticrelating.co/ (global)

Bree Taylor Molyneux (Brisbane)

I love how Bree talks about expanding your range. I recommend Heart-Led Intimacy (an intro level offering which I'm doing again in July) and Fierce Love Immersion events. I haven't tried the more advanced events as yet. 
​

• https://www.breetaylormolyneaux.com.au/
• https://www.facebook.com/BreeTaylorMolyneaux
• https://www.instagram.com/breetaylormolyneaux/
  

​

Making Space For Fear 

There was a discussion around making space for fear on the road trip of your life is from the book "Big Magic" by Elizabeth Gilbert (who also wrote "Eat Pray Love"). 

I did a video about this last year and read out the letter to fear. 

Check it out here (Wild & Wise Blog)


Follow Your Excitement 

This is from Bashar, a channelled energy through Darryl Anka in the USA. Bashar provides the instruction manual for how life works:

• Act on your highest passion** every moment that you can.
• Do it to the best you can, taking it as far as you can until you can take it no further. 
• Do it with no insistence, zero assumption whatsoever on what the outcome is supposed to be. 
• Stay in a positive state no matter what manifests. Because whatever it is that manifests has got to be there for a reason. Even if it’s something that you objectively don’t prefer. If nothing else, manifesting something you don’t prefer gives you a much clearer picture by contrast of what you do prefer. 

** Passion includes all of its expressions - excitement, happiness, joy, creativity, love. 

Source:

• https://www.gaia.com/video/bashar-channeled-darryl-anka-power-paradox 
  (Gaia subscription required)

Here's a video I found on YouTube explaining this:

• https://youtu.be/DrzsaVs5eJU?feature=shared

Fun! 

In the latest newsletter from The Playful Warrior, Kara shared about the Space Elevator:

• https://neal.fun/space-elevator/ 
• https://www.theplayfulwarrior.com/
• https://www.instagram.com/theplayfulwarrior

When reading one of Brene Brown's book (I think it's in The Gifts of Imperfection - highly recommended), she quotes Dr Stuart Brown, founder of the National Institute for Play: https://nifplay.org/

"The opposite of play is not work - the opposite of play is DEPRESSION"
~ Dr Stuart Brown


Next...
​

• Join my mailing list to receive blog updates, circle tasters, weekly wisdoms and upcoming event notifications here. 
• Try a free circle taster here.
• Experience a live circle with me here.

My Top 5 Learnings from Money Magic

Earlier this week, I was in the fabulously gorgeous Mooloolaba (on the Sunshine Coast, Queensland) for the two-day live event portion of a Money Magic course I signed up for. And I’d love to share some of my learnings.

Learning #1 - Successful People Prioritise Rest and Recovery

When the Money Magic course facilitator (Emma Greyson) expanded on the statement "successful people prioritise rest and recovery", it was a HUGE epiphany for me.

When I show up rested and recuperated, I’m showing up at a higher vibration. I’m saying to the universe: 

I AM PRIORITISING MYSELF.
I AM RAISING MY STANDARDS.
I AM READY TO ATTRACT AT A HIGHER LEVEL. 

When I’m showing up as exhausted and depleted, I’m showing up at a lower vibration. It’s no wonder then that my money is also showing up as exhausted and depleted!!

I'd heard the quote: you need to slow down to speed up. I kinda got it. But really, I didn't. This vibration piece is the missing link for me! 

I have been pushing myself and chasing money. I’m tired, exhausted and currently not 100% well either (with a head cold for the last two weeks that just doesn't seem to go away)!

What is this state of being (tired, exhausted and unwell) saying to the universe? What is it saying to that which I desire to attract into my life?

Is abundance, joy and wealth attracted to exhaustion and depletion?
Um, HELL NO!

Would abundance, joy and wealth be magnetised to rest and recovery?
I would say, DEFINITELY YES!

Yes, because being rested and looking after myself opens the space up for me to receive – because I’m already receiving care for myself. When I allow myself to be cared for, I open up to allow money and the universe to care for me too. It's another reminder for me to give to myself first that which I wish to receive.

Learning #2 - Redefining Money, Being Rich and Wealth

When investigating my money beliefs, I uncovered that being rich for me relates to the image of a “Selling Sunset” modern, Barbie-type of woman – long GHD-straightened hair, false jeweled nails, huge fake eyelashes, breast implants, glossy filler-infused lips and a designer wardrobe. Like, not me. And I don’t want to be that.

So, if I don’t want to be “rich” (according to this narrow, negative definition), then why would money come to me? There was a conflict. Wherever there is conflict, there is no flow and no alignment.

So, my homework is to redefine what RICH means to ME in a resourceful, aligned way. 

Learning #3 - Know my Numbers

We played a money game on the first day, which I disliked intensely and I was just waiting for it to be over!

What I learned however was I needed to KNOW MY NUMBERS so that I can make informed decisions based on what was happening in my environment.

I MISSED OPPORTUNITIES because I didn’t know where I was at, I didn’t have a wealth strategy in place and I didn’t recognise the opportunities until it was too late. 

Note to Self: The game reflects my life!

Learning #4 - Stop Jumping Ahead in the Hierarchy of Needs
​
During the course, we reviewed Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (refer image below).

We were invited to consider where we were trying to play at a higher level when the foundational needs hadn't been fully met.

​I realised I was playing in level 3 love and belonging and level 4 esteem, when there were money and health issues that needed my attention in level 2 safety needs.

The learning: get my needs met at one level before progressing higher on the pyramid! 

Credit: https://www.thoughtco.com/maslows-hierarchy-of-needs-4582571

​​Learning #5 - I have so much space to expand into!

​Upon doing my Financial Position Wheel, I was scoring myself quite low (0-1 out of 10) in every area (see image below).

Surprisingly, I wasn't bummed about this.

Instead, my frame was: look at how much space I have to expand into!! I have so many opportunities for growth!!

Perspective is everything! 

10 Tips for Holding Space for Yourself
 
1. Embracing Your Imperfection:

• This is about self-acceptance. 
• What parts of yourself are you not accepting?
• Where are you not bringing compassion to the imperfect parts of you?

2. Saying "No":

• My personal mantra is: A YES means it's a yes for me first AND a yes to the person/situation/choice, otherwise it's a NO.
• Where have you been saying YES to someone/something, but it's a NO for you?

3. Developing Boundaries:

• Where in your life are you carrying obligation? How can you now release this, so you can stand up for yourself and be more free to love yourself and others?

4. Communing With Yourself:

• I personally love connecting with nature. There's a set of trees along a walkway I normally go on; I put my hands on the trunk of the tree, then look up to watch the canopy sway in the breeze.
• I also love journalling and asking questions Conversations-with-God style.
• What do you do to commune with yourself? This could be music, art, journalling, meditation, connecting with nature, etc.

5. Listening:

• When do you take time to be alone, be still and listen internally?
• Getting to know yourself is the first step of awareness that starts the journey to healing.

6. Reaching For Support:

• Do you know your limits?
• How do you reach out for support when you need it?

7. Being Authentic: 

• What are you hiding from yourself?
• What are you afraid to see?

8. Being a Good Parent to Yourself: 

• The majority of us have grown up in dysfunctional families, so how are you reparenting yourself?

9. Develop Supportive Rituals:

• What is one thing you can do daily to check in with and nurture yourself?

10. The Wisdom With:

• What if holding space for yourself is less about the wisdom that’s out there and more about the wisdom that’s in you?
• What if you could let your intuitive and creative parts lead the way?
• There’s a good chance we’ve been conditioned to think it’s more complicated than that.

Your Turn...
What's your plan for holding space for yourself?

Next...

• Spend some time with yourself in one of my free circle tasters here.
• Join my mailing list to receive blog updates, circle tasters, weekly wisdoms and upcoming event notifications here. 
• Experience a live circle with me here.

Credits: 

• Azriel Reshel: https://uplift.love/how-to-hold-space-for-yourself/ 
• Patty Bechtold: https://wiselifetherapy.com/holding-space-for-yourself/

I’ve been very narrow-minded in my definition of abundance. And I am working on expanding my definition.

For example, I recently realised that I was receiving an abundance of wardrobe wealth. I was finding that numerous people were gifting me second-hand clothes. One of these people was someone I didn’t even know well at all! This is abundance.

I’m learning abundance isn’t just about money and finances. Abundance is so much broader than that. 
 
Looking back. I realise I’ve lived by a narrow definition of abundance in the past. I've been wanting to attract certain things into my life, yet I had such a narrow definition of those things, that it’s virtually impossible to see it and receive it. It was like I was playing SNAP. I was waiting for the EXACT card to look a specific way and to show up in a certain way in order to get a match. So, I didn’t SEE anything that wasn’t an EXACT MATCH.
 
I realised that the universe was offering me what I wanted, yet my narrow definition didn’t allow me to SEE it, let alone RECEIVE IT. This is something that I want to highlight – because I’ve been affirming about receiving abundance, however, first I had to see the abundance and recognise the abundance opportunity in order to receive it.
 
This is what my problem was – the abundance was THERE, but my narrow definition created filters in my mind that didn’t allow me to recognise that which I’d wished for. I had tunnel vision.

Where do you have tunnel vision in your life?

I invite you to grab a pen and notebook and journal on these questions:

1. What is your current definition of abundance? What does abundance mean to you? Is it just money and finances? Or is it broader?
2. What do you currently desire to be, do and have in your life? How would you like abundance to show up in your life?
3. How could you expand your definition to see opportunities that may already be waiting for you?
4. Think back over the past week or month. Where have already received abundance and/or that which you desire, but hadn't acknowledged it as such?

When you've finished journalling, I invite you to close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.

• Remind yourself of all the abundance opportunities that you have already received.
• Be thankful for what you've already received. 
• Feel into your heart space and expand your energy out into the world. 
• Be in a state of gratitude for what is waiting for you. 

Next:

• There are heaps of resources about Bashar on YouTube and Gaia. I can spend hours and hours devouring his content! I found a short video from Bashar about how to achieve abundance here. ​
• Join my mailing list to receive blog updates, circle tasters, weekly wisdoms and upcoming event notifications here. 
• Try a free circle taster here.
• Experience a live circle with me here.
• If you'd like individual support, find out about 1:1 coaching sessions here. 

HOW I'M LEARNING TO UNMASK

Yesterday, in a mastermind I’m in, we were invited to pull oracle/tarot cards to receive messages for the month of October 2023. 

The first card that flew out as I was clearing the deck and shuffling was: 18 Jumbie: Masks (from the African Goddess Rising Oracle Deck by Abiola Abrams)

My initial messages from the card were: 

• Take off the masks
• Stop hiding
• Be willing to be seen for who I really am

​1. TAKING OFF THE MASKS
 
If I’m guided to take off the masks, I first wonder: what masks am I showing to the world?
 
The biggest mask is that I HAVE MY SHIT TOGETHER. This mask says I’m taking full responsibility for my life; I’m positive and cheerful all the time; and that my businesses are successful enough to cover my living expenses.
 
BULLSHIT!
 
I do NOT have my shit together.

I am NOT taking full responsibility for my life and my businesses. I have been making excuses and blaming external circumstances. I am NOT fully showing up because I’m scared. How can I have my shit together if I’m not owning where I’m at and I’m not committing to what I desire?

I am NOT positive and cheerful all the time. Sometimes I’m anxious, lack-focused and worrying about a future that doesn’t yet exist – but it will (be my future) if most of my thoughts are on scarcity.
 
My realisation is that I have a limiting belief that I don’t have my shit together enough to serve others (in my Wild & Wise business).
 
Currently, I’m creating a circle program which I think will be called Radical Rebirth (inspired by the second card I pulled for my October messages). The program will be about unlearning and releasing who you’re not, unveiling your soul’s truth and living in alignment with your authentic self. This is a program FOR ME. What I mean is that that this Radical Rebirth is part of my personal journey. And I would love to call in other women on a similar path to co-create a movement to become our truest selves. There’s power in joining a group with a common goal and having the divine feminine energies rise to magnetise balance and harmony on the planet.
 
An affirmation from Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Body, which I think is perfect for me right now, is:
​
I move forward with confidence and joy, knowing all is well in my future.

​
2. STOP HIDING
 
The Shadow Guidance from the 18 Jumbie Masks card is:

​Where is the lie? Get quiet to get clear. Am I confused or afraid?
 
I’m not confused. I have amazing moments of clarity. Then my mood/emotions change and the doubts creep in, especially when I haven’t taken action on the clarity.
 
The truth is I am SHIT SCARED.
 

• What if it doesn’t work?
• What if I fall flat on my face and look like a f***ing idiot?
• What if I waste my time, energy and money on this for nothing?
• What if people don’t like me?
• What if people don’t find value from what I offer?
• What if I’m not good enough?
• What if I get what I want and I lose it?
• What if I fail, lose everything and have to start again?

 
Under all of this is…
 
What if I don’t have what it takes to be successful in business?
 
What I’m realising is that: when I allow my fear to stop me, I am guaranteed of failing and having to start all over again. Right?!
 
Ironically, I am already “starting again” with my Wild & Wise Business. I keep saying “my new business”, but it’s really my second business. Technically, Wild & Wise is actually my THIRD business – I started Discover the Oracle Within, my first life coaching business, in 2004!
 
I am afraid of losing it all, myself included. The problem is by hiding behind the masks, I’m losing myself anyway. I’m not being my authentic self with a mask on. If I don’t FULLY show up and commit, then it’s definitely NOT going to work.
 
I cannot attract my true tribe with a mask on. They will be attracted to my mask, and not to me. Stepping into my authentic self means I attract my real tribe. I wish to magnetise people/things to the REAL ME, and not to my mask.


3. BE WILLING TO BE SEEN FOR WHO I REALLY AM

This is scary because it means I’m opening myself up to judgement and criticism. 

Then I think about a recent post from @jonhillstead on Instagram:

Instead of showing up and focusing on the people who might judge you or criticize you. Show up for the people who are waiting to be led by you. The people who are waiting to be inspired by your story, the people who are waiting to be activated by your voice, the people who are waiting to receive your medicine. Show up for those people!

What if I focus on showing up for the people who need me to shine my light? 

Who would I need to become?

• Someone who shows up and provides value
• Someone who is visible and makes offers
• Someone who is committed and resourceful
• Someone who moves with their fears and doubts
• Someone who does the work to get their shit together
• Someone who is their own biggest cheerleader
• Someone who believes they’re capable of success right now
• Someone who focuses on everything working out

I am willing to be seen for who I really am – because how people respond to me isn’t actually about me; it’s about THEM. 

Interestingly, after sorting out the crap in my bedroom on the weekend, I reconnected with an affirmation card that was on my bedside table:

It is safe and satisfying for me to be seen for who I really am. 

(From: Joyful Abundance by Kris Franken)

Side Note: I looked up the meaning of the number 18 (from the oracle card that flew out). According to iPublishing.co.in...

Angel Number 18 is a symbol of transformation, spiritual growth, and infinite possibilities. It is believed to be a sign from the divine realm, encouraging us to draw strength from our own inner wisdom and understanding that anything is possible with the right attitude.

Yep, I think that is a perfect message for me right now!

​
​WHAT NOW?

I created a new manifesto:

• I am enough.
• I have everything I need right now.
• I am successful.
• Everything that happens is for my growth.
• I move forward with confidence and joy, knowing all is well in my future.
• It is safe and satisfying for me to be seen for who I really am. 
• I show up for the people waiting to receive my unique medicine.
• I build businesses with ease that allow for balance and freedom in my life.

YOUR TURN

1. Where in your life are you not fully showing up? 
2. What lies are you telling yourself? 
3. What masks are you hiding behind? 
4. Where do you need to take responsibility/ownership? 
5. What is the cost of keeping those masks on, of not taking responsibility, of not showing up fully? 
6. What’s in the way of you being seen for who you really are?
7. What is your new manifesto?

What did you realise about yourself through this process? I would love to know, so please comment below or post in my Wild & Wise Circle Community (private Facebook group) here.

Sending you love, light and abundance,
Olga xx

​NEXT...

• Join my mailing list to receive blog updates, circle tasters, weekly wisdoms and upcoming event notifications here. 
• Try a free circle taster here.
• Experience a live circle with me here.

As I was cleaning my windows last weekend, I was listening to Spotify and John Farnham’s “You’re the Voice” came on. I listened to the song over and over because it spoke to me. How do I understand my voice? Where am I sitting in silence? Where am I living with fear? And what came up for me was GOLD!

​Here are some lyrics:

We have the chance to turn the pages over
We can write what we want to write
We gotta make ends meet, before we get much older
…
You're the voice, try and understand it
Make a noise and make it clear
…
We're not gonna sit in silence
We're not gonna live with fear
…
This time, we know we all can stand together
With the power to be powerful
Believing we can make it better

I was inspired in several ways. 
​

You can listen to the song above as you read my blog post!

First, I felt the pull towards something bigger for my life, to dive deeper and to get clearer on what I’m a stand for.

Second, I realised how easy it was to create from inspiration. I had this limiting belief that, as a women’s circle facilitator, I couldn’t create any circle outlines from scratch – that it was too hard and I wasn’t creative enough. It was easier to use the resources I’d purchased. However, listening to this song, I got so many ideas on how I could run a circle on reclaiming your voice (and write this blog post). It was EASY to capture ideas from ONE source of inspiration.

I WAS LIT UP.

I realised I want to dive deeper in my circles, in my gatherings for women. I didn’t want the shorter, one-hour circles. I want to be more deeply connected. I want women to be transformed and connected in circle. I want to create a container to hold women on their journey to reclaim their voice, their desires, and their lives. I want to make a bigger impact through circle programs running over 6-12 weeks. I want to run circle programs that I created, not borrowed from others. 

I realised that creation is important to me because it fuels my soul and because my creations give me a way to heal the souls of others. I hadn’t realised how important creativity was for my soul. I’d been so focused on going the easy route by using resources I’d already paid for, that I’d forgotten about bringing my essence to circle, to women, to people.

I was being generic. I was buying into the cookie cutter approach.

Having recently attended a Feminine Facilitation training with Sistership Circle, I learned that I need to stop explaining what a women’s circle is, and instead focus on describing the transformation that women will get by working with me. I thought about the first version of my website launched last week with the circle schedule for the next three months.

And, I’ve gotta be honest, my website is generic. It describes what a women’s circle is. It does not talk about the transformation. Where is my Olga secret sauce? [Crickets] My website content could be copy on ANY circle website. Time to work on the second version of my website content!

This lesson prompted me to ask: How can show up as my authentic, unique and vulnerable self and communicate what makes me and my circles different? Otherwise, how can my audience know whether I’m a fit for them or not? 

I realised I am, yet again, trying to fit myself and my business into someone else’s mould. URGH!

My mission in my business has been harmonising the divine masculine and feminine energies. Now I realise that’s part of the how, not the what - or at least not the DEEPEST what. 

The transformation I desire to create is to empower women to move from fear, doubt and overwhelm to feeling free to be themselves and living a life aligned with their truth.

Working with the divine masculine and feminine energies wasn’t the highest outcome.

The highest vision is the FREEDOM to be yourself and to live your life your way, by YOUR RULES. 

You can channel Frank Sinatra and sing… I DID IT MY WAAYYY! 

So, where am I sitting in silence?

I discovered that I’m STILL subconsciously fitting myself into a mould, people pleasing and seeking external validation. It’s so pervasive! ARGH!

I need to develop myself through:
​

• TRUSTING myself
• HONOURING my soul’s voice
• Going MY OWN WAY (Feel free to sing: Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac)
• LIVING my truth, desires and dreams
• CLAIMING my right to take up space in the world

​
Because I have unique gifts that offer real value to the world. I believe my medicine is a concoction of circles, coaching and dance.

ARGH, I’ve done it again. 

That is soooo GENERIC. 

My intuition says: Go deeper, Olga.

SIGH.

Then it hits me: IT’S MY JOURNEY TO FREE MYSELF.

There were tears when I wrote this. Emotion is a signal from my soul. It’s a SOUL SIGNAL (I like this phrase). 

My unique gifts lie in my journey to free myself, so I can heal my inner child, inner teenager and inner young adult – and I can teach others to do the same. 

I haven’t been valuing my life’s journey, the experience I’ve had, the insights and transformations that have helped me grow and expand into the version of Olga I am today. 

I HAVE BEEN DEVALUING MYSELF. 

Wow, that realisation HURTS. 

Where do I need to free myself? Where can I honour my journey more deeply? 

Know that who I am is worthy, intelligent, and real. I AM REAL. My soul is real. I am not someone else’s avatar. I create me; I create my life; I create my business.

I free myself through trusting myself. I follow the nudges and insights through manifestation into reality. 

My higher self reminds me:

• You are free to be you. You are free to live your life your way.
• Seek your truth. Understand your voice. Make it clear in your self-expression. Be You. 
• ​And to channel Dr Seuss...

​

​I free myself by letting go of needing to be liked. I’m not here to serve everyone. Trying to serve everyone dilutes what I offer and spreads my energy to the point of exhaustion. This was a lesson I learned in my other business, BoogieCamp, but that’s a story for another day.

What I’m learning is to pay attention to what lights me up, then go shine my light and be the lighthouse. And, "like a moth to a flame", trust that my tribe will be magnetised to my light. Sing: That’s the Way Love Goes by Janet Jackson).

Message #1: 
Where am I still being bound by pleasing others, getting approval or validation, and trying to fit myself into a mould?

​(By the way, trying to fit myself into a mould was exactly why my first attempt at life coaching back in 2004 to 2006 failed. But that’s another blog post.)

Message #2: 
The learnings and insights from my life’s journey and experiences are valuable lessons for others. No other magical potions are required. 

You’re the voice, try and understand it
Make a noise and make it clear
We’re not gonna sit in silence
We’re not gonna live with fear
​
So, are you with me? Will you join me in reclaiming your voice? Or will you sit in silence and live with fear? 

I invite you to integrate... 

Take some time out and set yourself up with your notebook, pen and favourite journalling beverage. Close your eyes and take a slow, nourishing breath in through your nose and slowly exhale through your mouth. Repeat this a few times. Then, open your eyes and I invite you to reflect on these questions.

1. You’re the voice. What does your voice want to say? Where do you need more clarity on what you’re standing for?
2. Where are you sitting in silence or living with fear?
3. What does it mean for you to be the you-est YOU?
4. Where are you being bound by pleasing others, getting approval or validation, and trying to fit yourself into a mould? 
5. How can you free yourself from the mould and honour your life’s journey more deeply?
6. What is your soul signal?

What did you realise about yourself through this process? Feel free to share by commenting below or by posting in my Wild & Wise Circle Community (private Facebook group) here.

NEXT...

• Join my mailing list to receive blog updates, circle tasters, weekly wisdoms and upcoming event notifications here. 
• Try a free circle taster here.
• Experience a live circle with me here.

Love, light and abundance,
Olga xx