Dating Tips I Received From God*

* or my Higher Self.

For those who follow me on social media, you probably know I went speed dating last month. And you may have already seen my Dad Joke. Here it is again, for your entertainment…

On the day of the speed dating event, I was feeling so tired. I had had a busy week with some assessments due on the same day. I also had a kinesiology appointment that afternoon, and the kinesiologist could only do a survival balance as my body kept getting stressed out. 

I was feeling very low energy after the kinesiology session – albeit very chilled – I was very much in the mood of curling up on the couch under a blanket and hibernating from the world, and I was so NOT in the mood to go speed dating. 

I ended up having a 30-minute shower to ground myself (unintentionally), thus I ran out of time for make-up so I went fresh-faced. I was going to the speed dating event with a friend so I had to show up. 

I ended up having a great night. It was a lot of fun. I enjoyed socialising and having awesome conversations with most people. I had an energising chat with one guy who is an African conga drummer; we chatted about Latin rhythms, music and dance - Salsa, Tango, Bolero, etc, which I loved (given I am a Latin Dance teacher). 

The next day however, I was feeling quite down and had a crying session. When I couldn’t get to sleep, I ended up journaling. 

In the book "Conversations with God Book 1" by Neale Donald Walsch, the author shares this question-and-answer technique he used to get the content for the series of Conversations with God books. Although I’d not done it in ages, I have used this same technique and find it a useful way to get clarity and find my truth. 

So, I started asking myself questions – writing them out in my journal – then an answer would come which I would write out as well. So, it becomes this writing dialogue in my journal. 

For example, here are two questions I asked, followed by the responses I received back.

​Question:
How do I love more of myself – more parts of myself?

Response:

Just that! Love your face, love your belly, love all the parts of your body that you don’t prefer. Love your hyperness. Love your silliness. Love your power. Love your anger. Love your quirks. Love your blocks.

Everything is perfect. You are perfect.

It’s not DO – it’s LOVING.

Just focus on the love, the expansion, the fun, the excitement.

Question:
As per Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, I feel I’m NOT solid in the second layer and my focus right now is MONEY, HEALTH and HOME. Do I surrender dating?

Response:

No, think of it as part of your social life. It’s about having fun. It’s not about the dating. 

Focus on FUN. Follow the fun, be social, connect, get hyped up and energised by the conversations you’re having. 

You’ve focused on the outcome of getting romantic interest. 

The focus is on what is fun right now – or rather the focus is on having fun right now – and rediscovering that fun, playful, cheeky and flirty part of yourself. The girly side. 

So dress up, wear makeup, feel sexy – not for the men – FOR YOU!

-- 

Through this process, I realised I was focused on the OUTCOME, like the dopamine hit of getting a like on Facebook. I was chasing the result of getting someone romantically interested in me rather than focusing on having FUN. To be honest, I just wanted attention. 

So after journalling, I released the negative meaning I’d created and instead acknowledged what a fun night I had, how much enjoyed having conversations with lovely people and how grateful I am for these opportunities to meet new people. 

On a final note, I also observed myself apologising/making excuses for my hyped energy to one of my dates, a good-looking Ben Affleck lookalike. 

My learning from this observation? To accept and own ALL of myself. 

PS I highly recommend Conversations with God Book 1. 

YOUR TURN...

• Grab your journal and a pen.
• Write out a question you’d like an answer to and see what comes through.
• Continue the "conversation" until you say goodbye (like you would with a person). 
• Perhaps you could start with: How do I accept, own and love all of myself?

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